The last 14 days have been some of the hardest, most painful days I’ve had in a long time. I had two back to back reactions to medications and the per usual hellish time of month, which was way worse than it’s been.
Legit natural child birth pain – exact same pain, in same place as when I delivered baby #3 naturally. Pretty sure it’s a lock I’m headed for a hysterectomy soon.
My husband was unfortunately away for most of it, or had early morning OR cases. I’ve had to figure out how to parent, get my kids to school, deal with horrid medication reactions, intense pain like no other, and still run my small businesses — one being a new nonprofit (EDS Wellness & plan its upcoming retreats – Wellapalooza, etc.). All I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep. Seriously, I just wanted a break from everything. One day to just have nothing to do and not worry about it, but that’s not my lot in life and it’s far from what I’ve chosen.
I barley held my “Just 5 Minutes” classes, but I still showed up for our weekly Mind-Body for Hypermobility with Chronic Pain support group class last Thursday. I *think* I somehow got my 5 workouts in last week – one being hot yoga with my neighbor Saturday night. On Sunday, I put a smile on my face as my husband and oldest packed to leave Monday morning for 3 days for outdoor education school. Let’s not discuss my mad parenting skills while my husband and oldest were away, and how I was so exhausted that getting the littles to school on time, if at all, was my biggest struggle.
Yes, we went to bed on time. No, I didn’t stay up all night working. And no, I didn’t take a single medication or supplement to help me sleep or help the pain. So, I can’t blame my pure exhaustion and lack of hearing my alarm on anything other than – it just is what it is. I’m doing the best I can each day, with whatever deck of cards I’m dealt that day. The kids also slept in too. So, technically, it’s not all my fault. 😜
While the reactions to the medications have subsided, the hangover effects last a while. It totally drains your body. The “I want to saw off my legs” pain is also back and has decided to hang around for a few days – just for fun. The mornings are by far the time it likes to test me the most.
My husband and oldest returned home today — on my son’s birthday. Since today was his birthday and he was returning home, I, of course, ran around making sure we had the appropriate birthday supplies to welcome him home. Because of life, and pain, I had I cancel my “Just 5 Minutes” class again today. Reliability isn’t my strength right now.
We celebrated my oldest’ birthday, despite the pure exhaustion written all over his face and body, or the fact that two littles continued to kill each other after promising they would stop for one day – “just for Johann’s birthday.”
Have I mentioned that they have been home a ton also the last two weeks? I might have pulled out the “Bedste voice” today (AKA – the voice my mom used to use when she was REALLY mad) – complete with eyebrows fully slanted in diagonally on my forehead.
As soon as we were done cake, my husband ran to catch a flight for a business trip. All I could think was “I just want to rest. I just want the pain in my legs to go away. I just want to not feel so exhausted or like I’m velcroed to the floor.”
So, instead of wallowing in more self-pitty and focusing on how much pain I’ve been in, I decided to get on the Pilates reformer for “Just 5 Minutes” to work and stretch my legs out a bit. I bought the new Pilates reformer specifically for my legs and when they are killing me.
So, here are my pictures to prove my #Just5Minutes for today. All I can say is thank God Pilates machines have the option for you to lay supine. There’s nothing like working out your legs in a safe way, especially when they hurt like hell from muscle spasms.
I’m grateful to be leaving for Costa Rica in just over a week to give my body the much needed break it needs.
I’m grateful for my husband who supports me going to Costa Rica and purchasing things like a Pilates reformer (and puts it together for me). Grateful that I can move my legs and body.
And I’m more than grateful that I trust myself enough to know what works and what doesn’t work — especially when all logic and conventional medicine flies out the door.